290 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
290 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
==Phrack Inc.==
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Issue XIV, File 7 of 9
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^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^
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PWN PWN
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^*^ ^*^ Phrack World News ^*^ ^*^
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PWN Special Edition I PWN
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^*^ ^*^
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PWN Edited, Compiled, and Written PWN
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^*^ by Knight Lightning ^*^
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PWN PWN
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^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^
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Welcome to the first Phrack World News "Special Edition." In this issue we
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have two parts. The first section deals with possible news stories of the
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future after the weekend of June 19-21... SummerCon '87! The second section
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is a presentation of acronyms that never were, but should be. All posts have
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been taken from Metal Shop Private prior to its takedown in June. Posts have
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been edited for this presentation.
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PWN Special Edition is not a regular series and will only appear when the
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author deems it necessary to release one. Please keep in mind that all
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material in this file was written several weeks prior to SummerCon '87 and
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therefore the events chronicled here are supposed fiction and comedy.
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Thank you -KL.
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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Name: Phantom Phreaker
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SummerCon Prank Backfires June 31, 1987
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Well, the SummerCon went over well, except when the convention attendees stole
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every payphone in the building and placed them in front of Taran King's hotel
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room, rang the door, and shouted "Room Service." Needless to say, Taran King
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is now in jail until he can pay for all the stolen payphones.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: Knight Lightning
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Phreak/Hack World Shut Down! June 21, 1987
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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It happened yesterday when John Maxfield accompanied by Ralph Meola, Richard
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Proctor, Dan Pasquale, Edward P. Nowicki, and several members of the FBI,
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Secret Service, National Security Agency, and local baggers 402 literally
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invaded SummerCon '87, the annual phreak/hack reunion. It has been reported
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that a total of 97 suspects have been placed in custody with crimes linking
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them to jay walking, loitering, curfew violation, disturbing the peace, and
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belching in excessive amounts.
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Details are sketchy but it appears that it all started when a very drunk pair
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of twins decided to visit the local McDonald's and demanded a COSMOS Sundae
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with passwords on the side. When a very confused McDonald's employee refused,
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they became agitated and whipped out a blue box, using it to open the "trunks"
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of all the cars in the parking lot and then finally throwing it at an
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employee. A mad crowd of people rushed to the Best Western Executive
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International Inn and tried to storm the building when the other previously
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mentioned uninvited guests arrived.
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Final remarks from the twins... "So who wants to discuss CAMA?"
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Information provided by F. R. Newsline Services and on the scene reporting by
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Broadway Hacker (arrested for attempted prostitution).
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: Thomas Covenant
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SummerCon '87 "Laugh Riot"; Numerous Phreaks Still Missing June 25, 1987
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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(St Louis, PP) Authorities are still searching for the nearly 100 missing
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telecom enthusiasts who gathered in town over the weekend for a convention.
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Apparently the missing parties were sitting around, undergoing the intake of
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many assorted consciousness altering chemicals, when a strange young man with
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shoulder length hair and wearing a Judas Priest jacket appeared. He forced
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them all into a white 1957 Chevy pickup and took off, leaving only Evil Jay
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and Thomas Covenant behind. Evil Jay was quoted as saying it was a "laugh
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riot." Thomas Covenant had nothing to say as he is in shock from the incident
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and currently undergoing treatment at the St. Louis Home for the Terminally
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Bewildered.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: Phantom Phreaker
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Computer Enthusiasts Infected With The AIDS Virus June 22, 1987
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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>From St. Louis Post Dispatch
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They called it "SummerCon," a gathering of "phone phreaks" and computer
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hackers who are loosely organized around a network of computer bulletin
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boards. However, tragedy struck the meeting when the hacker named Evil Jay
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tricked another hacker, Suicidal Nightmare, into entering the room belonging
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to Broadway Hacker. Suicidal Nightmare was found in the parking lot with a
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torn anus.
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As if this wasn't bad enough, Broadway Hacker then went wild and began trying
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to molest the smallest hackers there. He could be seen chasing Kango Kid
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while screaming about a flaming mailbox and rubbing his genital area.
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Other problems arose from the hackers meeting. Several people were arrested
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for possession of cannibus and illegal possession of alcohol. The other
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charges included:
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o Intoxicated Pedestrian
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o Disturbing the Peace
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o Contributing to the delinquency of a minor
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o Failure to yield at stop sign
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o No turn signal
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o Theft of telephones
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o Verbally harassing telephone operators
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As you can see, these computer 'hackers' have no morals and decency and should
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not be allowed to meet.
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(C) Post Dispatch 2050
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Written by Jack Meoff
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: Knight Lightning
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Phreak World Crippled; SummerCon Causes Despair June 22, 1987
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Today, the phreak world was astounded and dealt a horrifying blow as all the
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phreaks who attended SummerCon left with their entire phreak knowledge
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literally erased from their minds due to an excess of drinking and other
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unknown mind altering substances. It is unknown as to if these effects are
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temporary or a life-long destruction.
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Anarchy World Takes Charge June 23, 1987
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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MetalliBashers Inc. have become the new "LOD" of the modem world since all of
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the LOD members no longer can even remember what LOD stands for (in fact, no
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one can, and forget I mentioned it!). With MBI taking charge, the new wave of
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the modem world has turned strictly anarchy, although there are rumors of
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various pirating organizations beginning to unload new wares soon.
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Investigators Lose Jobs! June 24, 1987
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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John Maxfield reportedly lost ALL contracts today when it was discovered that
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the phreak/hack community was completely destroyed, thus no one needed
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protection from them. He has now taken a job with the local sanitation
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management firm to help figure out what to do with all the garbage now that
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the phreak community wasn't stealing 1/3 of it anymore.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: Evil Jay
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Suicidal Nightmare - History June 23, 1987
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Suicidal Nightmare met death head on when Evil Jay knocked on his door
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pretending to be a lineman checking on his line. Once inside, Jay proceeded
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to swing a hand set at him with amazing accuracy. Once dragged outside, Jay
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then proceeded to tie Suicidal naked to a tree and call the ever-lovin'
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Broadway Hacker over to do his stuff. Jay was last heard pleading insanity.
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Suicidal Nightmare remains in intensive care, and Broadway Hacker is happy.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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That is the last of the news reports, now on with "Those Amazing Acronyms...!"
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: Doom Prophet
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FUCK-Facilities Utilization Control Kitchen. A really hot office. They keep
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backups of all systems per a LATA, or in special cases, the entire BOC
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area, along with user logs and passwords. They use the CUNTLICK system
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to interface with SHIT, explained momentarily. They are difficult to
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reach as no one knows their number, and anyone calling it has to enter a
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special queue dispenser where he enters routing information to reach the
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FUCK ACD. The FUCK technicians answer as normal subscribers and you have
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to tell them a codeword.
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PENIS-Plant Engineering Network Information System. Used by the PMS to deal
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with outside plant details and layout maps.
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CUNTLICK-Computer Utilities Network In the Control Kitchen. Used to sensor
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with SHIT.
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SHIT-Supreme Hardware Inventory Totals. Self explanatory.
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CRAP-Customer Repair Analysis Service. They use PENIS to supply PMS with
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info.
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PISS-Primary Intertoll Switching Servicemen. Co-ordinate classes 1 through 4
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toll offices and monitor the STP's.
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BITCH-Building Installation Table Channel. Used by SHIT technicians to obtain
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new switch and office status.
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SCAB-Switching Cable Analysis Bureau. They work with PMS for trunk testing
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and maintenance. The systems they use are FART and DOPAMINE.
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BASTARD-Box Accessible System To Aid Real D00ds. A special in band NPA with
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full OSC support for blue boxers to experiment within legally. Only
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operating in special areas.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: Phantom Phreaker
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DOGSHIT-Division Operations Group SHIT (see above post). DOGSHIT is like
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SHIT, except that DOGSHIT is in a division.
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CATPISS-Centralized Automatic Tandem Priorities Interexchange Support System.
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Self-explanatory.
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BEER-Bell Electrical Engineering Research
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COOL-Computerized Operations On Loops
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: Taran King
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BOOGER-Bell Operational Office for Generation of ESS Reports. Self
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Explanatory.
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STAN-Spanish Tacos And Nachos. This support group, Californian based,
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maintains food services for all superior employees (all employees).
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NATE-Nacho And Taco Emissary. This department secretly interfaces STAN with
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the rest of the network due to the STAN group's inability to fit in with
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society. **Due to divestiture, NATE and STAN are no longer part of the
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network**
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IL DUCE-Not an acronym, but the janitorial services department of the network.
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PUMPKIN-Peripheral Unit Modulator Phor Kitchen Installations of NATE. This
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group is in charge of interfacing kitchen activities through Project
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Genesis. See RAPE.
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BRRR-RING-The official word for the sound an AT&T phone makes receiving an
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incoming call.
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BANANA-Basic Analog Network Analog Network Analog (No wonder they went
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digital)
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RAPE-Red Afro-PUMPKIN Enthusiast. This group, led by Peter, cheers IL DUCE
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while he sweeps the floors.
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SCOOP-Secondary Command Output Only Procedure. This converts all text to
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lower case. It is a function used in most Bell computers along with
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LEX.
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LEX-Lengthy Explanatory Xlations. This program, found alongside SCOOP,
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converts all lowercase text, from SCOOP, into upper case and 40 columns
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surrounded by "$"s.
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** Warning! Never leave SCOOP and LEX running simultaneously or you will
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surely cause L666 to occur. **
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L666-The warning message generated by computers indicating endless loops of
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conflicting jobs. This also indicates that everything is fucked. See
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LOKI.
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LOKI-Life Over-Kill Incentive. If you find this error message on your
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computer, do not reboot the computer, but be sure to reboot something.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Name: The Disk Jockey
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SNATCH-Senses Nodes And Traps Code Hackers
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TITS-Telephone Involved in Tandem Skipping
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PUBIC-Plastered Uniforms Brought Inside CO (An employee infraction)
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RAD-Receive Analog Department
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DISC-Deadbeats Instinctively Scanning for Carriers
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LAP-Local Area Payphone
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Or use the codewords that Linemen and Telco employees use....
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This Means This
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---- ----------
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"OHFUCKNIGS" "I'm trapped in a phone booth in a black neighborhood"
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"FIDOFUCK" "A customer's pet dog has me trapped up a pole"
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"HOMEBONE" "I got laid while doing a customer's installation"
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"SNOOZEBOX" "I'm sleeping, but saying I'm fixing little green boxes"
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______________________________________________________________________________
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This concludes Phrack World News Special Edition. I hope you enjoyed it. If
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you have any comments or ideas be sure to get in touch with me or Taran King.
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:Knight Lightning
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